Uh…Hello….On Aging…A letter to my children, grandchildren and great-granchildren

Hi Ya’ll,

I’ve always felt that I was vital to our family.   Suddenly I feel that I’m on my way out.  I feel kind of grieve-y.  But only for a moment…    I’ve decided that I’m not ready to be “relegated”… and I’m going to stay as involved with you as you’ll let me.   The thought occurred to me that maybe with my “labels’ of Mom, Grandma and Great-grandma, that you’re judging what I’d like and not like because of your preconceived ideas of age – I’m here to tell you – NOT!… please keep an open mind about age and check with me before you decide?

So here are some of my thoughts…no one ever talked to me about aging but I feel that I’d be cheating all of us out of many good times and memories if I fade out gracefully.  I’m not very excited about that option.  So here goes…

Maybe this is simply a cycle of life – in fact I’m sure it can be – for some people.  Not us.  It’s not in my frame of reference…

Do you know that even though I have white hair and more than a few wrinkles, I have a sharp mind and a loving heart.  Still.    That hasn’t changed.  My appearance is not in agreement with how I feel inside.  If I had no mirror, I’d totally believe that I’m still in my late 30’s – well maybe early 40’s.  I feel the same now as when you grandchildren were born.

Even though I’m a GG now – a great-grandmother, my energy and interest in life is still as intense as it has always been (other than being slowed temporarily with my darn broken foot!).    The day may come when I don’t have as much energy and am a little slower but I hope you remember that I waited for you when you were a little slower and needed a little more care and attention.

I’m finding I have mixed feelings about the labels of Mom, Grandma and Great-Grandma.  On one hand, I love the memories of the little voices calling me, and the same voices as they became adult sounds and still calling me.  On the other hand, they are labels and labels are distancers….and I’m feeling a distance that jolts me.

Some of you have wanted to change your names as you found new identities.  Now it’s my turn.  I want to have no other label than my name.  Some of you are already calling me GG – and that’s great.  Or you can call me Sharon or MiMi- I’ll answer to any of them.  This may be temporary and maybe not.  Could it be a phase?  We’ll see…

I don’t need guilt, hurt feelings and please, no gifts.  You’re my gift.  Unless you see something that you just HAVE to get for me – to fill your own need.  Just know that the best gift you can give me is an occasional phone call to tell me about a funny memory, your latest news or just that you’re thinking of me and love me.  I love your old notes, I’ve saved all of them – and would love more.  I would like for your note to tell me that you’re so glad that I’m your Sharon, MiMi or GG.   Just joking…well, no I’m not….I’d just love that.  You know the adage..”it’s the thought that counts”?  Those thoughts are my gifts and when you write them, I treasure them and can re-read them when I need you and you’re busy with your life.   I love it when you text me a random picture of where you are or what you’re doing.  It lets me know you’re thinking of me at important times in your life.

I know and love that you all get together and have wonderful times.  But when it’s appropriate, please remember to invite me – remember that I’d love to be there with you.  I just love watching you, laughing with you, eating with you, remembering with you…just being.   Making a few more memories.

I’d really like to say that I don’t get my feelings hurt – but I do.  I’d like to say that I don’t feel alone sometimes – I do.  I’d like to be strong and mean it when I say that my memories are enough to get me by – but they’re not…I want more, more, more…

I love you,

Sharon, aka GG, MiMi

8 comments on “Uh…Hello….On Aging…A letter to my children, grandchildren and great-granchildren

  1. Talk to me...I'm your Mother says:

    Amen, Sister! I told my kids a few years ago to call me by my name. After all, it is a label, too, but has been with me from the beginning. I’m attached to it.

    • So far, those that I’ve ask to call me Sharon acted kind of disappointed and puzzled. Said they like calling me Grams – since I am their Grams. My daughter said (gently and motherly) that she hopes that I can accept who I am – their mother and Grams – that it’s a pretty special “label”. I chuckled. Hmmm….maybe my phase is lasting a day or so? Ha I’m thinking and trying to figure out all of my feelings…

  2. The Arms says:

    Hey to both of you! I’m looking at this from the other side completely, as a granddaughter who has recently left not only her family, but also her whole country. Geography has kept me and my only remaining Grandmother apart our whole lives, but now I’m in foreign parts I somehow feel what a weak excuse this is much more. Any tips on how I can rectify this? She’s got a whole life I don’t know about, but twenty odd years of non-communication can’t be wiped away with a sudden text asking what she’s up to…can it? (P.S. I’ve read through some of the other posts, and I hope to discover that my Granddmother is just as fun and knowledgeable)

    • I hope you do text your Grandmother – I can’t imagine that it would not thrill her – and yes, it would be a fun start – surprising her. You made my day by reading and commenting – it’s special to hear your reaction and so hope it starts some communication between you and your Grams. I can’t wait to learn more about you. I’m signed up! Let me know how it goes with your Grandmother?

  3. […] last but not least, DoinTheGreatfulDance, who writes like she is one of the most entertaining people to know, and inspires me to know my […]

    • What a nice compliment! I’m glad you found me – it led me right to you. I read a little and will learn more about you as I follow you. Like how did you end up in Barcelona and more…sounds like a fun time you’re having – Good for you!

  4. Just found your post and like it. We must be kindred spirits as my children nicknamed me ‘Mimi’ years ago and it has stuck! It sets me apart from all the other Mums that just get ‘Mum’!

    • I’m so glad you found my blog – I just read yours and am inspired by your courage during such a painful time. I’m applying some of it a painful situation that I’m dealing with and it gave me a moment to catch my breath. Thanks.

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