Lesson 12: Holding On to the Past


Lesson 12: Holding On to the Past

Oprah believes that a universal issue for so many of us is that we are holding on to the hurt and pain of our past.  In this class, five sisters have been entrenched in a bitter feud for years and find ways to move on.  Getting on with the “now” can only be accomplished by letting go of the past.  Some insight from Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 12….
Aired: 10/25/2011
Today’s Question:  What memories of the past still dominate your thinking?  What do you need to let go of?

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:  Oprah says, “It’s not just letting go of the past, it’s all bigger than we can ever imagine.”  We all want a  better life.  How do we get there?  

Are we living in what could have, what should have, what we wished could have been?  Living in the past is one of the biggest detriments.

Five sisters’ relationship went from a simple misunderstanding to a full scale war.   The conflict was affecting the sisters emotionally, physically and spiritually.   When we see defensiveness, that person is in pain and needs love and acceptance.  It took a major tragedy – the loss of one sister’s son – to bring them to wake up.    18 years later the sisters reconciled.   Jackie’s oldest son was dying of AIDS and a sister, Vicki took him in.  In order for her to see her son, she had to be in Vicki’s home.   The reconciliation had begun.

When we resort to name-calling, it means that we are out of control and we’re using that to bring more value to ourselves.

The only person we ever have any control over is ourselves.  We have a choice in how we see the situation, or we can remove ourselves from the situation but we  cannot change the other person.

Whatever energy we are carrying from the past, we carry into the future and that energy colors everything we do and experience.  It blocks us from being all that we were meant to be.

Forgiving is necessary to let go of the past.  It doesn’t mean that we say “it’s ok”.  Forgiveness is acceptance, not approval.

All of life is about “waking up”.

When the Oprah Show first started talking about men having affairs, women in the audience were adament that they would never put up with it, they would leave.  That attitude gradually changed over the next few years – in the 90’s.   Oprah says that she has discovered that men don’t cheat because of someone who is more attractive, smarter or…. He cheats because of how another person makes him feel.

In 2008, Psychiatrist Gary Newman, found that men cheat because they feel underappreciated, unimportant, not admired.  Men want to feel valued.

Unless the other man (or woman)  completely understands and expresses remorse for what they have done, it’s very difficult for the betrayed person to get over it.   Both parties need to sit down and talk about it openly.  Give yourself permission to deal with the issue.  It takes time to build trust again.

Not everyone can get over an affair.  You need to decide for yourself  if you can or can’t get over an affair.  If you decide that you can – then really get over it.  Deal with it and let it go.  You have to deal with the past or it will continue to show up in your relationships, your health, in every aspect of your life. If you can’t get over the affair, then move on from the relationship.  Don’t live in between.  There needs to be emotional closure.

On losing a loved one…with Gary Zukav… Oprah says…It’s not just about letting go of the past.  It’s about the ultimate lesson for us as human beings.  I am not my body, I am not my circumstances, I am not what everything looks like.  I really am a higher level of being and consciousness that is a soul.  My personality is not my soul.  My personality is here to serve my soul”.

We, our lives, are bigger than what it looks like.

A couple lost a new preterm baby, a twin.  They were both born perfect but on the third day after their birth, Ryan had a brain bleed.  He could not save the baby.  The parents went into a tailspin, were having a difficult time not letting this tragedy take over in their lives.

Gary Zukav counsels -“Look at Ryan as a soul, like everyone on this earth, that left this earth when it chose, then you will have a different perspective.  You will be able to see the gifts that this soul gave you during it’s short stay on this earth.  You will reach a place in your life where you are grateful that this soul chose to be with you for however short a time.  If you do not, you will live your life feeling that a tragedy has occurred.  Whenever you see your other son growing up, you will say Ryan should be here.  You will be placing a burden on your other son, the twin, because no matter what he does, what he accomplishes, he will be causing Mommy pain.  If you look at Ryan as a great soul who voluntarily entered the earth school and voluntarily left it in, you will begin to fathom and appreciate the interaction that you had with that soul and you will be able to receive the gifts that this soul came to earth to give to you and your family.  And if you do not, then you will continue to be turning away from those gifts.  You will be denying the very wealth of wisdom and compassion that was offered to you by this soul. ”  The soul is a great deal more than just a personality.  Interact soul-to-soul.  Recognize the power of the soul.

Many others were impacted by this story.

Oprah says that this story gives us a glimpse a notion that you are bigger than your body and your personality.   Oprah called this a holy moment in the room that day.   Oprah says it reminds her to stop and and think about her own soul and everyone around her, causes her to just for a moment to disconnect from the egos and personalities around her,  and to recognize that it is all bigger than we can ever imagine.

“You are not your circumstances.  You are a higher level of being and consciousness that is a soul.”  If we think life is only what we can see, then we are missing the whole point.

Oprah encourages us…”When you lose somebody in the physical form, the formless becomes an angel that you know”.

“Life is much bigger than just a body.  When you are grieving over the loss of a loved one…sense the presence of their soul, which is always with you, instead of the personality that is gone.”

Oprah quoting Iyanla Vanzant…”You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people.  But until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.  You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick you hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.”

Oprah says…”The sooner we can let go of the past, the sooner we can get on with the “now”, our daily life.  If we don’t let it go, it becomes a wall, a barrier, and it prevents us from the vibrancy, the aliveness, the glory that our life should be. ”

Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 12: Holding on to the past
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 12: Holding on to the past
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Lifeclass Question

Lesson 11: Your Life Speaks to You in a Whisper


Oprah talks about one of the greatest principles of life – Listening to the “whispers.” Practicing this principle saves lives.  Ideas on learning how to recognize moments when your life is trying to tell you something.
Today’s Question: What’s the whisper you’ve been hearing for a while? What will you do about it now?

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:


Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 11: Your Life Speaks to You in a Whisper
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 11: Your Life Speaks to You in a Whisper
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Question

Lesson 09: You’re Responsible For Your Life


Lesson 9: You’re Responsible for Your Life

Oprah discusses her motivation and beliefs about herself from early in her life. She and others show how they’ve taken control of their lives to effect change—and how we can use the same principles in our lives.
Aired: 10/20/2011
Today’s Question:  Where are you waiting for someone else to create what you long for?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: 
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson #9: You’re Responsible For Your Life
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson #9: You’re Responsible For Your Life
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Questions

Lesson 8: When You Know Better…


Lesson 8: When You Know Better…

Maya Angelou is one of my very favorite people.  She’s had a major impact on my life.  Oprah shares some of her Maya Angelou lessons.  Oprah relives some of her  most difficult moments and gives some insight on how to respond when you we do or say something we wish we hadn’t.
Oprah’s Lifeclass: Lesson 8:When You Know Better
Oprah’s Lifeclass Webcast Lesson 8: When You Know Better…
Today’s Question:  What do you know better and are now doing better?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: 
Oprahs Lifeclass Lesson #8: When You Know Better….
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson #8: When You Know Better
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Questions

Lesson 7: Aging Beautifully


Lesson 7: Aging Beautifully

Webcast Lesson 7: Aging Beautifully

Some very glamorous women —Cybill Shepherd, Jamie Lee Curtis and Ali MacGraw— talk about how they’ve felt about being defined by beauty.  They share their lessons and insight  on how we can develop our inner selves – a key to beautiful aging.
Today’s Question: What’s the best thing and the hardest thing about the age you are now?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: 
Oprahs Lifeclass Lesson #7: Aging Beautifully
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson #7: Aging Beautifully
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Questions

Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)


Aired: 10/14/2011
Oprah recounts how she felt in and about what has become one of her most talked about Oprah Shows.   Oprah also shares other moments of great joy.

 Oprah’s Lifeclass Webcast Lesson 5: Joy Rising

Today’s Question:  What brings me joy?  What steals my joy?
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:
Oprah’s Life Class
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 5: Joy Rising (The Car Giveaway)
Oprah’s Life Class Notes
Today’s Question

Lesson 3: You Become What You Believe


Aired: 10/12/2011
Oprah talks about the importance of having faith in ourselves.   Her interviews are with former guests Jim Carey, J.K. Rowling, Ralph Lauren and others who talk about the nature of our beliefs and how they affect what we achieve.
Today’s Question: How would I fill in these blanks?
The one thing I wished I had become is_______.
The one thing I will become is _________. 
See what others are saying
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:
What do I believe is possible for me?
The only way to know my purpose is to go inside, listen to the purest light of myself.  Pay attention to what I’m doing right now
I deserve and am worthy of the very best the world has to offer
There is a reason why I am here.  Still my mind and find the truth in that.    My job is to figure out what that is and then follow that belief.
Visualize what I want.  Ask – Believe – Receive.
Most of the time in life we don’t get what we “want”,  we become/get what we believe.
I am worthy of happiness, love and peace.  Believe it.
Life often speaks to us in “signs”.  Be alert and conscious.
What is my value to myself?  Is this the fullest expression of me?  What are my beliefs about what I deserve – subconsciously and consciously.
Everyone in my life is a teacher.
Most of what we adults do during their lives is based on beliefs formed during the time between birth and five years old.  A belief can be formed when a message meets an emotional moment.
How do we know what beliefs are running our lives?
Watch our thoughts.   What am I saying to myself?
We link habitual thought patterns to our daily activities.
Our beliefs become the way we live our lives.  And we will prove ourselves right.
Beliefs are thoughts.  Thoughts are energy.  
Everything is energy.  We carry it with us everywhere we go.  What energy are we putting out in the world?
What is happening in our lives reflects what we believe.
We may not be getting the right information, or enough information to achieve our belief.   Get support to brainstorm.
What am I thinking on a daily basis – about my situation?  Start actively believing that I can be abundantly successful with what I’m doing.  Be still and listen to myself.
Be my own best friend.  I will tell myself what I would tell my children or my best friend.   Have my own best interests at heart at all times.  When I love myself I can’t help but love humanity.
Every thought we think, every word we speak is an affirmation for the future…
Affirmations:
Affirmation plus action equals miracles.
Abundance flows into my life in surprising and miraculous ways every day.
Every time I turn around I get a check in the mail.
People love to pay me for my art.
Every time I turn around I have a new idea for a painting.
I can make a good living from my art.
I am a woman who will not accept less than what I’m worth
Life loves me.
Only good lies before  me.
Act as if….
When I find myself speaking badly to myself, I say “Stop it”.  I ask, “Whose voice is that?”  Challenge the voice.
We’re all meant for greatness.   We need to have people in our lives who remind us of our greatness when we forget.
We need the love and support of others but more than that, we need to love and support ourselves.
“Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light and not our darkness that we fear most.”
Making ourselves small does not serve other people.
How is what I’m doing serving the world?
How to teach children to believe?  One powerful experience with one adult can make a life changing difference in a child.   Teach affirmations.    Get dry eraser markers, give them to children and allow them to write affirmations on the windows, mirrors.  Let them make their own affirmations.  Tell me something that’s wonderful about you?  Have a bowl of affirmations for children.
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 3: You Become What You Believe
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 3: You Become What You Believe
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Today’s Question

Lesson 2: Letting Go of Anger


Lesson 2: Webcast Letting Go of Anger – Oprah and Iyanla Vanzant

Aired: 10/11/2011
Oprah replays the interview with best-selling author Terry McMillan’s riveting  on The Oprah Show.    Oprah points out how  anger can stand in the way of the life we were meant to live.

Today’s Question:  What’s holding me back right now?

See what others are saying

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes:

There are two emotions – Love and Fear
Anger is really a manifestation of fear…
Fear of losing the love of someone – rejection
Fear of being powerless or helpless, hopeless, vulnerable (maintain control) – fear of being unsafe
Fear of losing control – of self, others, how, when and where it will happen
Fear of not being seen as valuable, necessary
Anger – never angry for the reason I think I am.  I’m not born with anger in me.  helpless, hopeless, vulnerable event happened that impressed my soul.  Stirs up anger.  When anger is triggered, the trigger is simply reminding me that there is something down there that I need to deal with.
Anger is the easy way out – when I’m angry I get the control.  Anger is the #1 addiction.  Right below the anger is a world of hurt.  It’s easier to stay in the anger than to go deeper and deal with the hurt.

You can accept or reject the way you’re treated by other people but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.   You must find the strength to open the wound,  you must stick your  hand inside, pull out the core of the pain, the memory, and make peace with it

Oprahs Lifeclass Lesson #2  Letting Go of Anger
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson #2: Letting Go of Anger
Oprah’s Lifeclass
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Questions

Lesson 1: The False Power of Ego


Class:  The False Power of Ego

October 10 Webcast with Oprah and Eckhart Tolle

Oprah shares what she now thinks about one of her most talked-about moments and offers advice for recognizing when our egos  are getting the best of us and ways to help set ourselves straight.

Today’s Question:  Where does my ego get in my way?
See what others are saying

Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes: We can’t begin to be true ourselves unless we know who we are.  No thing, no material possession matters in terms of defining who you are.

When we get separated from our “knowing”, our inner place, we get lost.  We get into our ego.

Ego is defined as any identification with form – identifying with anything that is not the center of ourselves – things, status, position, possessions.   Ego is a dissociation from my true value.   Ego is a false sense of self.   When a child starts to identify with an object, the ego starts.   The moment I can identify my ego, I diminish its power.

When I get in touch with my true self, my awareness, that is me disguised as a person.

A guest said…”I no longer think that its possible for other people to hurt me. They’re just giving me their observation and I’m giving it meaning so I get to choose what that meaning is.”
The ability to know the truth of yourself and to have awareness is how you disconnect from the ego.
If I think I need it, that’s ego. I already have everything I need. The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.

Am I defined about what other people say? Does it determine how I feel?

When I receive criticism, they could be right.

Does I love you equals I’ll trade you?

Is this a business contract or do I really love you?

I’m happier when I love you – whether or not you love me. It matters not – whether or not you participate.

Just the fact that I’m here makes me “worthy”.

Give up resistence pto life. Go with it.
When I think I need it from “out there” – that’s addiction.The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.
Ego is anything that I think I need that I don’t have. I already have everything I need.
Oprah’s Life Class
Oprah’s Lifeclass Lesson 1: The False Power of Ego
Oprah’s Webcast Lesson 1: The False Power of Ego
Oprah’s Lifeclass Notes
Today’s Question

My Life Class Notes


There are two emotions – Love and Fear
Anger is really a manifestation of fear…
Fear of losing the love of someone – rejection
Fear of being powerless or helpless, hopeless, vulnerable (maintain control) – fear of being unsafe
Fear of losing control – of self, others, how, when and where it will happen
Fear of not being seen as valuable, necessary
Anger – never angry for the reason I think I am.  I’m not born with anger in me.  helpless, hopeless, vulnerable event happened that impressed my soul.  Stirs up anger.  When anger is triggered, the trigger is simply reminding me that there is something down there that I need to deal with.
Anger is the easy way out – when I’m angry I get the control.  Anger is the #1 addiction.  Right below the anger is a world of hurt.  It’s easier to stay in the anger than to go deeper and deal with the hurt.
You can accept or reject the way you’re treated by other people but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.  You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life.   You must find the strength to open the wound,  you must stick your  hand inside, pull out the core of the pain, the memory, and make peace with it.
Spirituality – the most real part of me.  My connection to the knowing that no matter what happens, I will be all right.  The knowing that everything that happens in my life is bringing to my purpose, the real me.  Live in openness to what is.  With that openness, a far greater power comes into my life.  Inner stillness – out of this comes aliveness, joy, creativity.  I become rooted in the aliveness and fullness of the present moment.
Spirituality has to be practiced.  We must stop, take a breath, become still inside – the act of meditation and contemplation.  Be in nature, connect with the arts, and connect with ritual.  Moments of serenity, stillness is when we experience something much larger, transcendic than what we are.   Meditate – go into the stillness of my soul.  Breathe.  Look for the message in every problem.  Don’t fight them, ask them – what are you here to teach me?   Share my spiritual path with others.  Find others that are like-minded.  There is nothing out of order with me.  Everything is happening for a reason.  I’m growing closer to spirit.  Pay attention to my life – it’s teaching me.  Listen.  Get clear, still and listen to my soul.   Tap into my best life.  Stillness is my religion.  Stillness is when I can connect.
Meditation – sit and smile.  Smile in my organs, in my arteries and blood vessels.
I understand that everyone I meet is sent to me as a teacher.
I need a shift in the way I look at life – that’s all.  When I discover the world around me, I also discover the world within me.
My inner journey
1.  Ask myself and journal – What do I really, really, really want?  Every day.  The answer will come
2.  Write the happiest moment of the day every night.  Learn it, study it.  Keep it in a happiness journal
3.  Refine my mantra.  Whatever I’m repeating consistently in my mind is my mantra.  If it isn’t working for me – I need to
     choose another mantra.
Entrances are everywhere.  There are accesses to God in all sorts of situations – be alert.  Find a tiny corner of my life for stillness when I can connect and ask questions.
I need to stop wearing my wishbone where my backbone ought to be!
When I experience a truth, I don’t need to experience it again, I know it and I carry it with me.
When we help, we heal.  Find a way to be of service.
Selfishness – beneficial to myself.    Am I being cruel, greedy and hoarding?  If not, do it.
Happiness – the people around me, a state of mind, love, share
What makes me feel good?  Am I missing pleasure?  Am I missing devotion?
I’m the hero of my own life’s journey.  This is my life and I write my own story.  No one else gets to write it – just me.  I get to be who I am.   Does my life look like me?
“I don’t know” is a legitimate answer.  I’m allowed to ask for as much time as I need until I do know.  If they aren’t able to give that time, they’re allowed to leave.
Write to myself as though I were a best friend.  Write out my questions.  Answer myself as a friend.   Listen to it, believe and lean on it.
Newton’s Third Law – For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Cause and effect.
The energy of emotions and  thoughts are frequencies of energy that always come back to us.
Every action we take creates a reaction in the world.  The sum of all those reactions is what we call our life.
The energy I generate creates my life.
Intention always determines what the effect will be.
Love changes everything.  It heals.
If I ask for courage, God doesn’t Zap me with courage.  I get the opportunity to be courageous.
Listen to the whisper.  Don’t wait for the brick to fall on our heads.
Whatever I need to be the greatest force for good…. bring it on!   If it’s a lesson I need to learn, I want the lesson.
Separate myself from negative people and negative thoughts.  Period!  I will not allow them in my life.
If this is in the best interests of me and those around me, then please let it happen.
Who do I want to BE in the world?  what kind of person do I want to be remembered as?   I want my love to effect others.
If I can’t do “it” with love, I won’t do it.  I can either decide to do it with love, or I need not do it.  Before I take any action, I need to clarify my intentions and make sure they are good.  Then good will be returned to me.
The people that I have in my life reflect who I am.
What am I doing to create and attract negativity?
Appreciate the ordinary
Acknowledging my mortality motivates me to live my life more fully.  My days are gold and I use them wisely and fully.
Do You hear me?
I see you
Do my eyes light up when I see…..?
God made me and made sure I am enough!
I no longer think that its possible for other people to hurt me. They’re just giving me their observation and I’m giving it meaning so I get to choose what that meaning is.
If I think I need it, that’s ego. I already have everything I need. The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.

Am I defined about what other people say? Does it determine how I feel?

When I receive criticism, they could be right.

Does I love you equals I’ll trade you?

Is this a business contract or do I really love you?

I’m happier when I love you – whether or not you love me. It matters not – whether or not you paricipate.

Just the fact that I’m here makes me “worthy”.

Fear is always involved in big egos – there lies our deepest fears.

Will I be sorry that I let this opportunity to pass? Even if I don’t succeed, do I want to give it my best and see? Is it the most meaningful, fulfilling direction?

What is the fullest expression of myself as a human being. What am I meant to do here on Planet Earth?

What would I do if I weren’t afraid? What does fear feel like?

As Maya Angelou explains, people know themselves much better than you do. That’s why it’s important to stop expecting them to be something other than who they are.
Feelings buried alive don’t die. They stink and re-emerge
What would I do if I had no fear? Do it anyway. That’s courage. Be it!
What is my life worth?
Is this the fullest of expession of me?
When I hear criticism – they could be right. It’s their view of me.
Give up resistent to life. Go with it.
When I think I need it from “out there” – that’s addiction.The way I know I don’t need it is when I don’t get it.
Ego is anything that I think I need that I don’t have. I already have everything I need.
Oprahs lifeclass Notes
Oprahs class
Oprahs Super Soul Sunday